Around this time the last few years I have shared some tips to help you get through the chaotic time that is year-end season at nonprofit organizations.
Those included tips like:
- Move around
- Get enough sleep
- Plan ahead/have a to-do list
- Treat yourself
- Take a moment and breathe
And last year’s Taking Care of Yourself for the Rest of the Year has some good tips on handling the holidays during a pandemic. In that post I talk about:
- Getting outside
- Identifying new hobbies
- Checking in with yourself
- Checking in on loved ones
- Taking a break from electronics
- Reaching out
- Acknowledging your feelings
- Learning to say no
This year I am focusing on something a lot of us have trouble with:
Asking for help when we need it.
We are all about being independent and self-reliant, aren’t we? Especially if you live in the US – it’s like a badge of honor.
Asking for help can either seem like we are weak or that we are imposing on someone. We might also be afraid that we will be turned down and humiliated.
But a study by Francis Flynn and Vanessa Lake found people underestimated by as much as 50% the likelihood that others would agree to a direct request for help.
And according to The Science of Generosity, “Giving social support—time, effort, or goods—is associated with better overall health in older adults.”
Here are some tips to get better at it:
- Be concise and specific
- Don’t be demanding
- Don’t apologize for asking
- Try to do it face-to-face or on a call
- Practice by asking for help in smaller ways
- Reframe your request so it’s a conversation, rather than a transaction
- Create a “support team” you know you can go to
- Don’t wait til the last minute
Heidi Grant also shared these things NOT to do when asking for help:
- Emphasize how much the other person will enjoy helping
- Portray the help you need as a tiny, insignificant favor
- Remind people that they owe you
- Talk about how much their help will benefit you
So don’t be afraid to ask for help!